Let me just say, that I don’t think parents are saints. They do get things monumentally wrong sometimes. But at the heart of everything is usually love, and sometimes it’s just plain what-would-people-think. Decisions made on the latter are usually the more fatal blows in our lives. But I am here to tell you or remind you, that whatever they have done does not have to affect your entire life. It can affect you for a period of time, or even send you on a different path, but not for long. Eventually, when you are completely in charge of your own life you can do whatever you like i.e. You can do that thing they weren’t very enthusiastic about you doing in the first place.
When I was much younger I really wanted to be a writer. I found books through a friend and was fascinated by the idea of reading just for fun. I mean, there was enough homework to keep you busy and when you are done, wouldn’t you rather play or watch something on TV? But after reading the book I found myself wanting more of that instead. Like anything we truly love, I started playing with the idea of being a novelist. Before that, I toyed with the idea of becoming a tv or movie writer, the point is, I day-dreamed about being a writer. So when it was time to go to university I wanted to study English literature but was met with zero support for it. I mean, I understand the fear of my parents thinking I would be a starving artist, and after hearing it enough times, I became scared of the same thing. Long story short, I ended up studying economics instead. It wasn’t a miserable existence. I ended up falling in love with the world of economics and finance but a part of me has always wondered what would have been if I followed my heart and somehow convinced my parents to let me study what I wanted. They were paying for my education so it’s not like I could just go off and study whatever I wanted without their permission.
That was then. My life was put on a different path and for a long time I thought there was nothing I could do about it, but recently my thinking changed. I have been in charge of my own life for a long time, and there are many ways to go about learning whatever it is you want to know about. This is the day and age where there are so many resources online, some cheap and others free, to gain substantial knowledge in whatever field you want. People are changing industries so easily and gaining new certificates as often as they want. So my thoughts trailed back to the past and those dreams of becoming a writer. I started dabbling in the idea again and read some books on writing, some of which were given to me by my family members. My family often told me to just try writing and not give up on something I was so passionate about. For some reason, I was so set on this idea that if I didn’t study it there is no way I could do it properly or even at all.
One day I saw an advert for Masterclass on youtube. It was Shonda Rhimes and she said: “if you want to write just write”. And this thing that people close to me have been saying for so long suddenly hit me. Yeah, I can just write and it doesn’t have to be great, but it can be something I do that makes me happy. I am not proud of the fact that I have heard this so many times in my life but for some reason, I wasn’t open to absorbing it, and then a famous person says it and suddenly I see the light. I don’t really know how my heart was open that day but I am thankful for that. I have just been held back by my shitty ego and just holding on to blaming my parents for me not realizing my potential in something else. So hence this post. So If you are in the same position, I urge you to find some resources online on whatever it is you are interested in and explore it further. I also encourage you to work on letting go of that feeling that your parents put you on a different path than you wanted. That shit can eat you up and you only have one life to live so use it well and just dive straight in. It’s time to let that whole blaming parents thing go and start living the life you want to. I recently watched the Disney movie Soul and I feel like it touched on the same thing. It’s a beautiful movie that really just stresses the whole live-for-now thing and enjoy every moment of being alive. Life is super short and the pandemic has made this point even clearer.
I am now writing for fun and hope I can carry the enthusiasm on for the rest of the year at least. I sometimes think of all the time I wasted and how I could have just listened and just started writing even from university. I could have gotten resources online, or even gone to some of the writing lectures on campus. But, such is life, so I’m working on letting go of the coulda-woulda-shoulda mentality.
p.s. I definitely recommend that you watch Soul if you haven’t! it’s so deep!
Is there anything you have always wanted to do but still haven’t?
have a great rest-of-the-week and hopefully, you’ll be back here again next week Wednesday.
(stickers and other merch with the featured illustration is in my Etsy and Teespring)